复旦大学“管院一霸”语录——笑死自负
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">李若山，男，复旦大学教授，会计学专业博士生导师，号称中国审计第一人</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P><P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">现任复旦管理学院财务系系主任，整天过得逍遥自在的“管院一霸”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">本学期在有限的六周审计学课里，频频爆出让人“拍手称快”的话，这里转载收录一下</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 1</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">78</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">界我们同学聚会，名单打印出来，很多人都是已故。为什么已故呢，都是枪毙的。当然现在还有很多还在里面。干我们这一行的，出来都是两院院士，做得好进医院，做不好进法院……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 2</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我有个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">60</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">岁的朋友，他估计能够活到</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">90</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">岁，是正常的直线折旧。但是后来，他请了一个小保姆，两年后就死了，这就是加速折旧。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 3</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。和我一起毕业的许多同学大多数都成为了什么</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">CEO,CFO,CIO,CCO</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">啊之类的，总是一个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">C</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">加上结尾一个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">O</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">，什么？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">CCO</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">不知道？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Chief Culture officer</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我呢，是大学财务系的主任，也是个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">O</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">，财务英文的第一个字母是什么？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">F</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。然后大学是</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">University</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">，所以呢……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">UFO<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">4</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。那个我们知道审计师的独立性受到干预的话是无法客观出具审计</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">意见的，比如有个审计师到公司去审计，公司的</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">CFO</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">是个复旦毕业的小姑娘，审啊审啊审出感情来了，就结婚了，那怎么出具反对的审计意见报告，否则怎么回去和自己当老板的老婆交待？而且大家知道上海的家庭治理结构和别的地方是不一样的，是丈母娘领导下的太太负责制。在我家就是这样，家里大事听我的小事听她的。什么叫大事呢？打伊拉克就是大事，其余的都是小事</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 5</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。中国第一代企业经理人是搞技术出身的，那个时候物资紧缺，生产出来不愁卖不掉。第二代经理人呢，是搞——我不知道中文怎么说——</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Marketing</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">出身的。你们把</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">marketing</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">叫做什么啊？（我们：市场营销）不对，叫忽悠！你们知道他们系的祖师爷是谁么？赵本山！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">6</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。加班不报</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">OT</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">有什么坏的后果呢？你不报加班时间以后安排</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">time budget</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">的时候就会更紧，然后别人不加班就没法按时完成，没法按时完成就没有奖金，没有奖金他就只好偷工减料，偷工减料审计报告的质量就会出问题，审计报告的质量出问题安达信就享年</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">88</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">岁了。这个都是环环相扣的，好比没有天哪有地没有地哪有你没有你哪有我……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">7</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我们知道广告费用这个东西有个滞后效应，就是说你今天投下去要以后才看得到效果的。这个就好像青橄榄，青橄榄你们吃过伐？就是咬下去的时候有点苦涩的。小时候妈妈给我吃青橄榄，咬了一口苦苦的怎么这么难吃的啦，就丢到屋顶上面去了。嚼了一会儿以后突然觉得有甜甜的味道了。哦原来这个东西这么好吃啊，马上拿了个梯子爬到屋顶上面去找，找了半天没找到，只看到一个黑黑的东西。我想么大概是晒黑了，拿起来就吃，结果还是苦苦的。我去给妈妈看，妈妈说那是猫屎……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 8</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。什么叫法人？法人就是被绳之以法的人</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 9</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我也发过一个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">adverse</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">审计报告，那家公司的财务报表对使用者会产生重大的误道，但是由于高超的处理，没有任何地方违反准则和法律的。结果实在没有办法怎么办？就用了杀手锏，</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Substance over Form (</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">实质重与形式原则</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">)</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。这个叫什么？这个就叫做欲加之罪，何患无词！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">10</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。苦不苦，想想萨达姆。累不累，想想</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">CPA<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">11</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。现在</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">10</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">份验资报告</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">9</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">份是假的，哪里来这么多钱啊。出了事情法警上门，早上第一个来的把银行存款冻结，然后来了第二个，看看没有银行存款可以冻结了，就把电脑搬走查封。下午来了第三批，看看只好搬办公桌了。到后来来了第四批，就看到一个人坐在地上什么也没有了……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">12</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。法警上门，说要查一份验资报告，这个没办法的，只好拿出来给他们看，同时买好香蕉苹果桔子摆了满满一大桌。法警看了</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">5</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">分钟说你们的验资报告是假的，你们的银行存款已经被冻结了。事务所的一听就跳起来了，你现在还在吃我的香蕉诶！法警马上把香蕉放下来说那么我不吃了。你们还有一处房产两辆轿车，我们封条已经带来了这就下去贴掉……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">13</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。验资报告都是拿一张发票。说上面这点都是我的资产。有哪些啊？毛巾面盆大脚桶，牙刷牙膏香肥皂，汤勺盆子压力锅，碗筷调羹切菜刀……</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">(</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">上海话</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">)<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">14</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。大家别以为</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">4</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">大那么好。一开始想想，本科一毕业，能拿个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">4</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">5</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">千，非常诱人，但仔细想想呢，每天工作到很晚，除一下，平均每小时工资并不多。再看看忙季的时候，起得比清洁工还早，睡得比小姐还晚。我知道一个男同学，晚上半夜</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">2</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">点中去厕所，大哭一把，哭完洗把脸继续工作。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">15</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。以前和一个老板吃饭，他问我：李老师啊，你是不是</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">CPA</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">啊？我说是啊，“那你能不能帮我出一份审计报告啊？”“好啊，没问题啊”然后就签了</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">engagement letter</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">，我就去了，结果到他们财务部，说，你们的账在哪啊？他说：等下。然后搬来了一个大马甲袋，打开一看，里面全是各种发票和其他凭证，说“李老师啊，不好意思啊，我们不知道怎么做账，你既然来了就帮我们整理整理吧”，我一看说“哎呀，这个怎么做审计报告啊”“哎呀李老师啊，那就不好意思了呀，我们是签了</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">engagement letter</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">的啊，你不做是违约的啊”然后我一气之下，出了份“无法发表意见的审计报告”他一看“呀，这叫什么审计报告啊？”我笑笑“你不懂了吧，这就叫无法发表意见的审计报告，这个不好意思啊，我们是有</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">engagement letter</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">的啊，审计费还是要照付的，不然是违约啊”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">16</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我是复旦大学校委啊，有一次接到一封信，让我去参加校委会，这个是个光荣啊，我一大早就去了，看到那里空无一人，后来，走近来一个老人，鹤发童颜，相当有精神，一看就是那种成了精的人。我马上上去，双手抱拳“哎呀，老先生，请问您是哪里的啊？”他清了清嗓子说“我是导弹物理的，你是哪里的啊？”“鄙人小李，是管院会计系的”老先生一听，马上上来抱住我的手说，“哎呀，原来你是会计系的啊，我跟你商量个事啊，我有个孙子，要读你们会计的研究生，可以挖？”“可以啊”“哎，会计真是一门伟大的学科啊，我们导弹物理，才</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">7</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">、</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">8</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">位的数都难以做到精确无误，你们会计那个资产负债表啊，有时来个</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">10</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">多位，加上</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">2</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">位小数，居然能精确到分啊，而且最强的是，居然两边能做到</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">1</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">分不差正好相等啊，真是个伟大的学科，我一定要让我孙子读会计。”“老先生你有所不知啊，我们会计的科目，有不少都是“毛估估”估计出来的，并不是非常精确的”老先生一听马上变脸“什么？都是估计出来的，那你们会计也太不严谨了，估计出来的数字，怎么能放在年报上给人看，起码要做个说明吧，而且还两边划等号，应该划约等号！”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">17</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。我们管院财务系有个非常好的老师，由于练***功被抓进去了，我是系主任麻，就去探望他，结果他抱着我说“哎呀，其实李老师说的是对的啊！！！”显然这个“李老师”不是我</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> 18</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=宋体 color=navy size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体">。现在我们国家的上市公司年报啊，虚假信息太多，骗骗小股民还好，怎么骗得了我们专家，一眼就看出他问题来了。后来有一家网站打电话给我，让我在他们网站上开一个专栏，叫“若山股评”，没过一段时间，就写一段揭露上市公司虚假信息的文章，广受欢迎。但是后来，我晚上就开始接到恐怖电话，半夜铃响，拿起来“喂”，只听到对面一点声音都没有，只听见沉重的呼吸声，那个时候真的很吓人的啊。然后刚挂掉，又打来了，还是什么话都不说，连续好几天都打来，我实在受不了了，打电话给网站，说“我这个专栏不做了”他们问我为什么，我说：“我要睡觉！！！”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Arial color=navy size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> :victory: :victory: :lol :lol :lol :lol :victory: :victory:
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